(Well, they might … but you’re too busy feeling miserable to notice)
1. ADVICE IS IMPRACTICAL
Every break-up is unique. Listening to advice from others can leave you frustrated and confused. Your family & friends won’t be able to understand all the intricacies of your relationship. Just be glad they’re around to hear you vent and begin the moving-on process.
2. AMAZING CONVERSATIONS ARE COMING
During moments of weakness, we are able to connect more effectively with others. Read the research conducted by Dr. Brene Brown and enjoy the power of vulnerability.
3. YOU’LL DEVELOP BREAK-UP RADAR
It’s a mysterious superpower. You’re able to predict other people’s break-ups before they occur, who the dumper / dumpee in the relationship was, real reasons behind the break-up, etc. A simple glance from someone across the room, can tell you everything.
4. BREAK-UP SONGS ARE FLAWED
I tried looking for the perfect break-up song but found none. (See Point #1: Every break-up is different). I’ll expand on this topic during a future post.
5. GOOGLE IS AWESOME
No need to elaborate much here. It works better than a therapist. Type what you’re thinking or feeling and BOOM!!!! an infinite supply of related links. Remember to take everything you find online with a grain of sand.
6. FLASHBACKS SUCK
This is Dr. Phil territory so let me say it’s possible to feel anger, happiness, sadness and gratitude all at the same time. My fraternity brother compares it to seeing that 40oz or cheap tequila we all drank in College. It’s a bevy of emotions but you soon realize it’s a good thing you’ve moved on.
7. THERE ARE NO WINNERS
In ‘Love in time of Cholera’ the main characters Florentino and Fermina are forced to break-up and each character goes through contrasting romantic experiences. Neither one ‘wins’ by moving on quicker, having a successful career or family.
8. THE LIGHT BULB MOMENT
After the smoke clears, you’ll have a lightbulb moment when you realize: My ex had an annoying _______ and wonder why you didn’t realize it during the relationship. These are productive moments which you should build on.
9. THE SAW MOMENT
You know at the end of the Saw movies when you realize things weren’t what they appeared to be. There can be a lot of unanswered questions after a break-up. If you’re lucky an avalanche of information will hit you one day and everything will start to make sense.
Luis Gaitan is an avid explorer with Peter Pan Syndrome. He’s not a relationship expert. During the summer of 2011, his long-term girlfriend managed to break-up with him via a phone call, email, text, Central Park picnic and a birthday stroll along the Hudson. No need for pity it’s actually a funny story with a screenplay in the works.